Add a photo
67 photos
Add a photo
Add your opinion
After you have seen Ocean Drive, come to this bar. At Colony Cafe, visitors can have good seafood, pizza and rolls. Get your meal started with great coffee.
A number of reviewers find that the staff is energetic at this place. Most people suppose that the service is professional. Moderate prices are something that should be noted about this place. Many guests think that the decor is nice.
Frequently mentioned in reviews
See allLess
Visitors' opinions on Colony Cafe
/ 76
Add your opinion
C
Request content removal
Connor E.
9 months ago on Yelp
the rats tasted good. the service existed. the rats hanging on the celling were nice ambiance and food.
C
Request content removal
Chris P.
a year ago on Yelp
A man once asked me what I imagined Hell would be like. I simply said, "Colony Cafe Miami" and left. It's been years since I last went, and only now do I have the courage to speak about my experience. I was 12 on vacation with my Dad, we enter the restaurant expecting a delectable meal as advertised. We enter and are met with a woman who looked as if she has been dead for 40 years that told us to quote-on-quote, "Sit wherever the hell you want." We made our way to a table that wasn't covered in actual vomit, (which was difficult) and sat down. After we sat, I could count at least 5 roaches scurry across the floor from my seat cushion. It took the waiter so long to get to us my nails might as well had grown another foot in length. I questioned her on why the floor was covered in rat droppings indistinguishable to how Texas Roadhouse was in peanuts, but she ignored me and asked me to, "Order already or get the hell out." We ordered their turkey sandwich and ceaser salad, only hoping that the food would be any better than the the customer service. The waiter came back with our food about 2 hours after we had ordered, and I honestly wish she never did. My sandwich resembled the anus of a gorilla which had been locked in a sewer for 2 weeks. The cheese was probably bitten by rats into shape, the tomato was unrecognizable, my bread was so moldy it might as well have been an organism, and the patty had the consistency of cow poop. My father didn't get lunch that day either, as the waiter dropped his salad on the floor not once, not twice, but three times on the way. His "salad" was a collection of leaves still connected to the branch and warm apple skin. The smell alone made my body want to vomit out my organs, which led me to the worst mistake of my life. The bathroom contained nothing but feces, garbage, and for reasons I cannot possibly begin to comprehend, an assortment of dead rats hanging from the ceiling. Once I returned to my Dad, I could barely speak. Our waiter arrived and tossed the check on the table. After my Dad brushed off the cockroaches, he read the check, put it down, and left without a word. I was angrily forced out of the Cafe by one of the workers, and flipped off as I walked away unsupervised. I have not heard of nor seen my Dad since then, and he has left the family without a trace. Colony Cafe Miami is a trap, it lures you in and ruins your life. To those who have yet to go, I envy you. Please get this place off the map, I am convinced that this restaurant alone is keeping this country as well as the world away from peace.
F
Request content removal
Fabio Moose
3 years ago on Restaurant Guru
Please avoid this restaurant! They stand outside and yell at you until you come in, drinks are overpriced, bathrooms are horrible, and staff is rude. If I were to describe this restaurant in three words, they would be, WORST. RESTAURANT. EVER.
1
0
|
Reply
All opinions
American, Vegetarian options
No info on opening hours
$$$$
Price range per person $31 - $60
© OpenStreetMap
contributions
Address
736 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach, Florida, USA, 33139
Features
Сredit cards accepted
Outdoor seating
Wi-Fi
Booking
TV
Website
Instagram
@colonyhotelmiami
