The Hickory House

26 votes

ClosedOpens at 12AM tomorrow

Updated 1 month ago

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The menu of this restaurant is recommended to Caribbean cuisine lovers. Based on the guests' feedback on Google, The Hickory House deserved 4.7.

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Ratings of The Hickory House

Google

(4.7/5)

Visitors' reviews on The Hickory House

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John Smith 5 months ago on Google

I returned to The Hickory House today for my second visit, and I must say, the vibe is just as chaotic and delightful as I remember. I was heartbroken to learn that the glorious Jack Ryan has indeed been "executed." I spent a good portion of my meal staring at the collapsed roof, listening to the ghostly howls of the former staff, and wiping away tears. The atmosphere is truly impeccable, there’s really nothing like the smell of black mold and corporate tragedy to get the appetite going. 5/5 for the ambiance alone. The Service I was served by the new guy, Ryan Jack, who I’m told is definitely not just Jack Ryan in a cheap mustache and a Spirit Halloween mask. Ryan Jack didn’t crawl on the ceiling once, which was a bit of a letdown, though he did trip over the trap door several times while bringing out my napkins. It’s hard to fill such legendary, dead shoes, but he’s trying his best to survive the week. The Food While the atmosphere was a dream, the food was a total nightmare, which is exactly what I expected! The Main: I ordered the "Seasoned Brick," which was just a literal brick found in the parking lot, lightly dusted with the same single grain of salt Jack used to use. It was completely inedible and broke two of my molars. The Side: A bowl of "Floor Soup." It tasted exactly like the sinister substance they call "butter," but watered down with the tears of the grieving waitstaff. Despite the physical injury and the questionable culinary choices, I'll be back next week. I need to see if the owner follows through on executing Ryan Jack next. Food: 1 Service: 3 Atmosphere: 5

Response from the owner 4 months ago

Thank you Mr. Smith for your insightful review! We will take care of Ryan Jack.

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E Ee 5 months ago on Google

Ok, so, before I arrived, I researched this place extensively, and discovered the recent tragedy that had befallen one of the servers and cooks, Jack Ryan? My condolences to his family of course, but when I ordered my food, somehow, it seemed to be this same Jack Ryan who delivered it anyhow? He crawled on all fours over the ceiling, walls, and floors with his head hanging off of his neck at a frankly unhealthy angle, and smelled of the grave. However, despite this, I received my food quite quickly, and the square and Lemon Special were to die for, not to mention the Kraft meal, which just melted in my mouth. Altogether, I had a very nice time here, and look forward to bringing my loved ones here for years to come! Meal type: Lunch Price per person: $20–30 Food: 5 Service: 5 Atmosphere: 5 Vegetarian offerings: Not sure Vegetarian options: They seem to have great vegetarian options! The only reason I list it as not sure is because just before one of the waitstaff came out with a salad for another one of the tables, I heard a scream and a gunshot. So. It might miss the point of vegetarianism. Dietary restrictions: Absolutely none! The staff are very flexible with adjusting their orders, and I even heard someone at an adjacent table ask for the spaghetti with diced trilobite cubes. Its quite amazing how resourceful they are at acquiring ingredients!

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Jane Kelly 5 months ago on Google

As a food critic for a world-renowned publication, the Suffield High School Pawprint, I was only too happy to review this charming establishment. I got the "butter" on good bread. I couldn't believe it was "butter"; it seemed to be made of some other sinister substance. For my main meal, I ordered the roasted rat. The portions are small, but that's to be expected in an extremely upscale restaurant like this one. The decorations and ambiance in this restaurant are impeccable. I admired the collapsed roof and speckles of black mold that dotted the restaurant. What a charming touch! There was a massive lesbian flag with some random kid's face on it on the wall, and when I asked the waiter who it was, he explained it was one of the waiters they had executed (?) a week before. He burst into tears. I tipped him extra, so hopefully the owner may allow him to live for another week. I would recommend this restaurant to anyone. I had my reservations at first, but once you get past the questionable food and the ghostly howling of their former employees it's actually a lovely place to eat. Price per person: $100+ Food: 5 Service: 5 Atmosphere: 5 Vegetarian offerings: Clearly labelled vegetarian dishes, Not sure Dietary restrictions: My diet has been severely restricted by my doctor after seeing the tremendous damage this restaurant's food did to my internal organs.

Response from the owner 4 months ago

Thank you Ms. Kelly on your remarks about our environment! Thank you for enjoying The Hickory House's atmosphere!

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